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July 20, 2009

Pacquiao is dentist, Arum is barber, Cotto golfs

Pacquiao is dentist, Arum is barber, Cotto golfs

Just as I thought, Manny Pacquiao is not being less than macho in objecting to a 145 pound weight limit for a Nov. 14 bout against true welterweight Miguel Angel Cotto.

Pacquiao is just showing he's got a Yiddishe kop, meaning a Jewish mind for business. Surely, his promoter Uncle Bob Arum can appreciate that.

Now we hear that Pacman, lawyer Jeng "Jackal" Gacal and Puck's Bad Boy, Canadian fun guy Michael Koncz will sit down in Los Angeles Sunday or Monday with Arum to finalize the bout.

There will be five chairs at this high level sitdown as Koncz works for Pacman and for Uncle Bob. if there is any conflict of any kind, Koncz invokes the Lady Byng Rule, meaning he asks what is best for himself.

They don't call Koncz Agent 007 for nothing, you know.

All Pacquiao is doing here is his best impression of a dentist.

Meaning that he will extract a financial premium from Arum to acquiesce to the 145 pound limit rather than his preference for two pounds less.

Open mouth wide, Bob. Not to worry as I'm am sure that once, say Pacman agrees to accept the Marley Two Pound Premium of Fitty Cent, I mean Fitty G's per pound or $100,000, then the contracts will be be duly signed.

I just hope Gacal doesn't confuse matters by asking Manny to add his "John Hancock" to the bottom of the bout contract.

Manny might take it literally, having no idea who John Hancock was. I mean, before Hancock became an insurance company.

Hancock versus Cotto just won't move tickets and ring up the same PPV sales, I am certain.

Oh, back to Bob, once Pacman gets into his tightly sewn pockets, Arum will then do his best impression of a barber and I do not mean the operatic Barber of Seville.

Meaning that it will be Boricua Bomber Cotto who will getting the haircut, the slight trim, from Arum's newly sharpened shears.

Chop, chop, Cotto's bottom line takes a paddywhack from his promoter.

That will teach Cotto to play golf with that kvetching Oscar De La Hoya in Puerto Rico.

Arum has chastized Cotto, so I hear, for hitting the little white ball with Oskie.

Arum is inserting a special no golf with ODLH clause into the Pacquiao contract.

Even miniature golf with the Golden Golfer will be banned.

From what I've been told by Chi Chi Rodriguez, shoots a nifty 54...and that is just on the front nine!

Cotto reportedly gave up miniature golf anyway because he was always hitting the ball into the clown's mouth. How embarrassing.

So, summing up, Pacquiao will play dentist.

Arum then plays barber.

And Cotto plays, oh I don't know, croquet, sabong, badminton, Chinese checkers, Clue...any game except golf.

One concerned Pinoy in the midst of the whole controversy is former Malacanang operative Hermie Rivera who said, "I don't care what games these people play as long as I don't have to be the caddy.

"I would recommend water polo for the whole crew but it's difficult to find polo ponies who can swim like Michael Phelps."

source: examiner

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